71 shirts
Cows have best friends. Do you?
If lost, return to the bar.
Kebab at 4 a.m. is self care.
My credit score is a cry for help.
My landlord's favourite charity. (It's me.)
I'm not lost. I'm a side quest.
Sunday scaries. Saturday crimes.
Horse. That's it.
Mom's biggest regret. Hi mom.
Geese know what they did.
Bottomless brunch. Topless by lunch.
One beer. (Lie.)
Card declined. Vibes approved.
Liver: let him cook.
My lawyer is a raccoon.
Too hot to be this broke.
Laughed at a funeral. Twice.
I do my own taxes. Incorrectly.
Soup is a wet salad.
Banned from the aquarium.
Going to hell. Need a ride?
Boss makes a dollar. I make a mistake.
Minimum wage. Maximum rage.
God's favourite disappointment.
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Body count: 3 (houseplants).
Bread is just raw toast.
